Creepy singing skeleton
by Blackjack the Nargle
Summary: Hades sends Nico to deal with an annoying skeleton, singing about Stupid Deaths. Go figure. Multi-crossover with Harry Potter/Divergent/Hunger Games and a little RotG.


**Why did this come into my head? This is what happens when you don't get enough sleep. Take note. If you are sleepy, you get crazy ideas for one-shots. Heh.**

**I own nothing. Kind of multi-crossover.**

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><p>Nico leant against the tree and watched everyone else laughing. Percy had his arms around Annabeth. Jason and Piper had disappeared into the woods and Leo was flirting with the wood nymphs. Hazel and Frank were at Camp Jupiter.<p>

Chiron appeared. He looked around then called: "Percy, Annabeth, Nico and Leo, come here please."

Nico mentally face-palmed as the four of them made their way to the Big House.

"Yes, Chiron?" Annabeth leant against Percy. He wrapped his arms around her. Leo and Nico glanced at each other and smirked. Percy threw his shoe at them and Annabeth glared.

"Percy and Annabeth, I need you two to do something..." Chiron lowered his voice and whispered something to them. Percy nodded. "I'll call Blackjack." He grabbed Annabeth's hand and they left.

"Leo, please will you stop Festus from breathing fire all over the woods?" Leo nodded and ran out, pulling various springs and bolts from his tool-belt.

"Nico, your father asked me to give you this." Chiron turned to him and held out a letter. Nico looked at it, then took it cautiously and opened it. His eyes travelled down it and his scowl deepened.

"Schist."

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><p>He shadow-travelled to the entrance to the Underworld and groaned. He could hear the annoying singing.<p>

_"Stupid deaths, stupid deaths,_

_they're funny cause they're true!_

_Stupid deaths, stupid deaths,_

_hope next time it's not you!"_

Followed by insane laughter. Nico unsheathed his sword and walked forwards. A counter had been set up, with a couple of cheap silver archways to both sides. Behind the counter sat some sort of skeleton man. He had long-ish hair and a crazy grin that made Nico shudder.

In front of the counter, a man was gesturing wildly, telling some story about being suffocated by cloaks and hats. Nico's eyes narrowed. The man sounded a lot like Draco. Not the one from the Harry Potter books, the one from Athens. He had made any crime punishable by death. Hades was always moaning about how busy it had made the underworld.

The man finished his story and the skeleton began howling with laughter.

"You're through to the afterlife." The skeleton man waved to the archway on the right. Draco gave a nod of thanks and passed through the cleverly disguised portal to Tartarus.

"Hey. You." Nico stepped forwards, holding up the sword. He addressed the skeleton. "You shouldn't be here, creepy skeleton man. Get moving."

The skeleton man laughed.

"What's your name?"

"A Son of Hades. Now move it before I make you."

The skeleton stared at him for a couple of seconds, before he burst out laughing.

"That's a good one. There are no Sons of Hades."

Nico growled and stepped forwards, swinging the sword dangerously. The skeleton seemed to understand the message. He got up and walked away, absent-mindedly swinging a huge scythe. Nico ran after him.

"So, you're just going to leave everything there?"

"Yes." The skeleton turned to look at him. "Have fun, Nico."

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><p>Nico was creeped out. Firstly, how in Hades did the skeleton know his name? And secondly, why would he leave everything there?<p>

The answer was more scary than anything else. The skeleton was leaving him to do his _job._

A boy a few years older than Nico walked through. He had flaming red hair and was waving a stick. He had the air of a prankster, the same air that surrounded the Stoll Brothers.

"Name?" Nico said, sounding as bored as he could.

"Fred Weasley. Where the hell am I?"

"Close. Your in the Underworld." Nico said absently, scribbling down the name. "I'm new to this job, so-"

"How new?"

"As in I was given the job ten seconds ago." Fred whistled.

"Having fun?"

"Shut up. Okay, how did you die?" He winced at the glare Fred gave him.

"I was hit by an exploding wall."

Nico couldn't help it. He burst out laughing. "A-an exploding wall?" He choked out.

"Shut up, or I will make you wish you were dead." Threatened Fred. Nico just raised an eyebrow.

"I am a Son of Hades. You don't scare me. Now go through the door on the left." Fred turned on his heel and left, looking seriously pissed. As he went through, he turned and gave Nico the one fingered salute, which was happily returned.

"Maybe this job won't be so bad."

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><p>Nico had fun throughout the day. One man insisted that he had drowned in a bowl of muesli. When Nico asked how, he had replied that he had been dragged under by a very strong currant.<p>

People came and went. Nico was particularly interested when a boy of around sixteen showed up.

"Name?"

"Will."

"How did you die?"

"I don't know."

Nico stopped writing, then looked up. The boy looked fine, but there was something off about his eyes. They were blank. Nico got up and gave Will a slap round the face. He broke out of whatever trance he was in.

"What the-?"

"How did you die?" Nico asked impatiently.

"I told you. I don't know!" Will looked at him, annoyed. Nico rolled his eyes and called something over his shoulder. A few seconds later, a little hummingbird arrived with a box of teeth.

"Let's have a look into your memories..."

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><p><em>There was an army marching towards a city. All of them had blank, staring eyes. Nico shivered. Will was looking around.<em>

_"This is the Abnegation sector." He muttered, His eyes widened when he saw himself carrying a gun. "No. They didn't." Nico looked at him. "Where are we?"_

_"I lived near here. They must have put us under a simulation." Will muttered, more to himself than to Nico. "I probably killed someone._

_They followed the living Will down a few streets. He turned after a girl. Dead Will's eyes widened. "Tris? I kill Tris?"_

_"Nope." Muttered Nico, as they watched. The girl, Tris, brought out a gun. BANG. "She killed you."_

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><p>They were back in front of the desk.<p>

"Killed by one of my best friends." Will was muttering darkly as he strode away, through the door Nico was pointing to.

"Next."

A couple of young girls, maybe a year younger than Nico, stepped forwards.

"Names?"

"Primrose."

"Rue."

"Okay. How did you two die?"

"Spear to the stomach."

"Blown up."

"Ouch." Nico scribbled down. "Through you two go, then." He dimly wondered if they were from the future. Then again, they could have been demigods. That happened to people all the time.

The line dawdled as the day wore on. Finally there was only one person left.

"Name?" Nico didn't look up.

"Come on Death Breath." Nico froze, then looked up.

"_THALIA?"_ The girl rolled her eyes.

"Well done, you know my name."

"Uhh...How did you die?" He squeaked.

"I was killed by a Pegasus falling from the sky."

"What?" He already knew the answer.

"Blackjack. He fell out of the sky carrying Percy and Annabeth." Seeing her cousin's expression, she added "They're ok."

"Y-you can go through." Nico whispered miserably. Thalia gave him a small hug on the way through.

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><p>The skeleton had been watching all day.<p>

"Well done." He said. Nico looked up, then held up his sword.

"You came back."

"And now I'll leave. Goodbye, Nico."

Everything disappeared. Nico was standing in the middle of the Hades cabin.

There was a knock on the door.

"DEATH BREATH! Chiron wants you!"

Nico flung open the door. Thalia was scowling at him. He hugged her tightly then ran off.

She stared after him.

"What in Hades?"

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><p><strong>I have no idea. No idea where that came from. If you review, you get a virtual cookie! (::)<strong>


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